Who Knew It Could Be So Liberating?
Sarah is not my real name. I disclose that in our “Site Rules” page, but I chose a separate name and identity when I began this blog for a number of reasons: to allow me to write in the most candid manner about not-so-talked-about subjects like sex and hair down there and other relationship issues, to protect my family, and to guarantee that the identities of the other Anonymous7 are, indeed, kept anonymous. By the way, I did get their consent and blessing to do this site, as long as their identities remain nameless and faceless.
So I chose Sarah, a name I have long loved, to be this woman who gets to research and write about all of the things we never talk openly about. Being someone else at first felt a little deceptive. However, it has turned out to be one of the most honest things I could have done with my life. Overall, “Being Sarah” (that sounds like a book name, doesn’t it?) has been an incredibly liberating and enlightening and eye-opening experience.
As Sarah, I can talk about anything openly, even with other members of the Anonymous8, and my gumption and strength and resolve and attitude and determination grow by the day, and the post. The greatest thing is when I tell my friends (most of whom do not know about this venture), one by one, about what I am doing. Their denial morphs into shock which changes to incredulity, which finally moves to acceptance and then a new sort of admiration at the whole endeavor. I love the shock on their faces. Because they would never suspect it – coming from me. It’s fun to surprise people in ways that they could not have foreseen for a good and slightly out of the box reason.
And the biggest surprise? Being Sarah makes my other self, my true self, stronger and more enlightened. Even though I speak as Sarah, the voice inside her head is really my own. The jokes and the wonder. Things I was afraid of saying before now come out with confidence. I am stronger and more centered and more confident as a woman in my other life. As a mother and a wife and a woman, I had certain fears. Reduced. Because Sarah has got my back. Weird, huh?
I wish for all of our readers and friends this ability to gain strength from the person inside of you, who, if set free from the constraints of the circle you live in, can go places you couldn’t go before. As long as the purpose is noble and is in keeping with your core values, what a trip you could take!
With gratitude,
Sarah Baron
Other posts you may like:
Anonymous8 – The Innocent Beginning
Women Talk About Sex and Intimacy
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It *is* a book title – or at least it aught to become one, after you’ve been at this a while longer. I betcha it’d do well.
I’m considering doing a blog under a pen name myself…for different reasons. This post may be the little kick in the butt I needed for it!
I’ll raise my glass to that! Cheers to being free from the constraints!
Go for it, Gigi. Just be prepared and write in a way that – if your anonymity is ever blown – you’ll be okay.
Good luck,
Sarah
I know exactly what you mean, Sarah.
Many years ago, I chose the pseudonym “Locust” when writing somewhere that would damage my professional reputaion if anyone Googled my real name. Many, many years and many websites ago, actually: the Locust has been with me through almost 15 years now.
I was married for a long time (ended last year), unhappily so for the last few years. But, whilst I was unhappy in my reality, the Locust has had a better time of it. He’s made some good friends on a few site, many of whom we’ve now met in person, and they know my real name and details. They helped the real me get through things and nowadays it’s a rare day when I don’t speak to several of them. One of them still affectionately calls me “Buggy”.
And now, I’m sort-of seeing a girl. It’s early days yet, but she has known me as Locust for far longer than by my real name.
It’s a wonderful thing – but it’s also meant that Aussie Locust has now become legitamized. It makes me wonder now how free of contraints he can be.
Aussie,
I feel like I’ve grown to know you through your comments and your additions to this post. Interesting the full circle you have now come to. Is Aussie Locust different than your real self, or just your real self, more honest and unreserved?
Thanks,
Sarah
Interesting outlook on being anonymous. I don’t know if it is ever something I could do.
Stopping in from SITS.
Hmm… it’s a very interested question, and one I’ve been giving a lot of thought to in the last 12 months.
The conculsion I’ve reached is that I’m both the “real” me, and the Locust at the same time. While I was married, all the parts of me that I didn’t or couldn’t show to the real world leaked out online under the name Locust. People did comment on how “flirty” I was.
But he was a lot happier than I was, too.
So, now I am full circle. Or getting there. I’ve realised I can be both of us, at once, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
Missy, I didn’t think I could do it. It took me six months to the guts up to go online. I have not looked back with regret for a minute.
Glad you stopped by.
Aussie,
That’s a really good summary. So, the AL side of you was allowed to be the full you. It was your veil. so to speak. Now your real self can catch up. Interesting… Thanks for answering.
Hahaha… ironically I chose Sarah as my name too. I don’t really know why I chose the name but I just did.
And I agree completely with having an anonymous personality making your real personality stronger. I think it’s the lack of expectation. No one has any expectations from “Sarah Day” so there’s no fear of letting people down.
Sarah Day,
Interesting about the lack of expectations. That makes complete sense to me.
Thanks,
Sarah
Sarah, I think you have the right idea with this anonymous blog thing – although your reasons are quite different than mine.
In my life, the one thing I know for sure is that everything changes. I am hesitant now to put my name on anything that will give others a label by which to define me. Because I’ve noticed people love to do that. I enjoy so much the liberty of waking up every day and deciding who I want to be. Perhaps I haven’t yet found that “one thing” that truly defines who I am. Until I do, anonymous is the way to go!