Are you Ready?
When reading the title, it begs the question: what is a Real Man? We’ll get to that in a minute…
For this post, we asked several other dad/marriage bloggers and regular contributors to Anonymous8 for their take on the question. There were no rules, no boundaries, just the question.
I think you will see, by their answers, what we at Anonymous8 consider a real man.
And at the end? We interpret their answers in 2 mini paragraphs…
Josh, of DadStreet:
I’m a pretty visual person as I suspect most guys are so when I think of my wife as being sexy you can imagine what comes to mind. Actually, I’m just going to go right to the part that she’s wearing anything remotely revealing. Typically, it would involve a bra and panties…wait no, she could be wearing a top too and no pants…no wait, pants and no top…Ughh…Okay, if I can see any skin anywhere! Sorry, horny husband + hot wife = “You’re always sexy to me!”
That made me crack up.
Corey of Simple Marriage:
There is nothing sexier than a confident woman. She will look you in the eye and hold her head up high. She knows who she is and isn’t ashamed of herself for knowing it. She glows (much the same as a pregnant woman). She knows she has a beauty to unveil and this beauty comes from within, it is not worn or put on. An additional, more intimate point about what real men think are sexy … there is nothing sexier than a sexually turned on woman.
Mr. DadaRocks has this to say…
For me that’s about conversation… or maybe that sparkle in the eye (maybe its the come hither look). A lot of people have a type of a look short skirt, open shirt, knee highs… that’s great visual junk food but for me if there isnt a conversational bond I know its not going to work else where.
Eric from Better Husbands and Fathers:
To me, this question has two answers. First, what I consider sexy, is my wife (you would understand if you saw her!). Second, and more specifically, there is nothing sexier than my wife wanting me… needing me.
Aussie Locust from Splaton:
OK – what I consider sexy is “the tease” – Flirting and seduction is an art (like romance, too, but to some extent a separate art), and one that should be practised. So, confidence is a must – taking pride in your appearance too. (By that I mean a little make-up, doing nails, etc – after all, if you want a man to pursue you, you need to show that you think you’re worth pursuing too!) Smile often – nicely, wickedly, seductively.
Ron from Clark Kent’s Lunchbox:
What I (and I’m assuming that I qualify as a “real man”) consider sexy is how a woman dresses, not in the ooo-lala, whistle-like-a-construction-worker sense, but in terms of what is says about her. If she has a very classic style while mixing it with something a little different like a hat or loud scarf, it tells me she’s sensible, confident, and not afraid to do different things. When out on the town, she sports a red dress that’s a little bit revealing but still undeniably classy. It’s also coordinated well with accessories that accentuate without being gaudy (same for makeup), and her heels aren’t so high that she looks like she’s compensating for something. This tells me she’s comfortable with her body without compromising her self-respect. In the same scenario, she can be intelligent without being pretentious, and she laughs often without sounding disingenuous, a sign that she is intelligent, has a good sense of humor and is honest. And the next morning, rather than being overly self-conscious about her face and hair, she just gets up, takes care of what she needs to without a big fuss. Again is says she’s comfortable with herself, but is also is a sign that she’s okay with being a little vulnerable.
And we finish with…
An anonymous friend, who we will call Pale Blue Eyes, expanded the concept, and boy, does he capture it, don’t you think?
Mama: ”Simon is having a birthday party on Saturday?”
My son: ”Ya.”Mama: ”Are you invited to Simon’s birthday party?”
My Son: ”I don’t know.”Mama: ”Do you want to go to Simon’s party?”
My son: ”Ya.”
Rewind…my wife had already invited the kids to my son’s Halloween Party Saturday and there was no turning back when one of the other mom’s responded in an e-mail RSVP, “He’ll come right over after Simon’s party.” Insert the panic here.
Now go back and read the conversation again… What does this have to do with, ’What Real Men find Sexy’? Real men…if I can be so bold to categorize ’Real Men’ and so humble to include myself (Sarah: thank you for the compliment BTW) …will understand. I saw Sarah’s article last week on The 5 Love Languages, completed the survey, labeled myself (scored a perfect 12 on Physical Love – in case there is any doubt I am qualified to write this response) and forwarded the assessment link to my wife.
The next day she said I could show her my love if I could get out of work to help with the party - which had now swelled to nearly double the number of invites after all of the original six asked their classmates, “Are you coming to the Halloween party?” (She told me later she never read the link BTW.) The truth is I hesitated, and then called in a favour at work to make the 3:30pm transition from Birthday-Party-pick-up-chaos to Halloween-Party-costume-and-last-minute-set-up-of-my-son’s-Haunted-House-bedroom.
Two hours later I was sitting on the couch with my Halloween costume on the floor beside me surrounded by six year old’s reading, ”Wolf’s Coming!” (if you’re a parent…get it) and my wife came around the corner after feeding our baby girl in the other room and smiled, you know, that smile that looks into your pale blue eyes and says, ‘home is the one place on Earth that makes you feel like there’s no place you’d rather be’. That look says it all and all the things we should say more. What could be more sexy than that…than being the one she can count on when all the other more important things are forgotten?
And the Answer is …
So, what’s the answer? Can we boil it down? First, I want to point out that there is not one mention of Victoria’s Secret. Bras and panties, yes, dressing with style, yes, but over the top lingerie? I don’t see that.
The answers are as individual as the man who is giving them… it’s about self-confidence and personal style and connection and about wanting your man and showing him that you do. Interesting, don’t you think?
Gentlemen, please add your opinion below…
And ladies, we want to know your reactions as well…
Other Posts You May Enjoy
Fun Tip Tuesdays Posts (to spice up your intimate life)
23 Things to Say to Your Man to Make His Chest Swell
Don’t Forget…
To leave a comment below…
To enter our weekly giveaways…
Want a copy of our free ebook on how to make a memorable date night? Click here.
To subscribe so you don’t miss a thing. Anonymous8 delivers! Click here for your options (they are free, of course).
I like DadaRocks’ description. Sure, junk food tastes good but there’s only so much you can eat before you get sick. A great meal, however, will look good, taste good and be good for you.
The same holds true for sexiness. Yes, there’s a sexiness about a good body, but a good body by itself, without anything else, is “junk food sexiness.” A good body, teamed up with a great personality and a bright mind is extremely sexy. I’m very fortunate that my wife has all three. Of course, she always denies that she is sexy. I guess that means I just need to keep proving that I find her sexy over and over again!
Techy Dad,
That is one great comment. I like the whole thing – the concept of “junk food sexiness” all the way through your last thought, which is letting her know again and again how sexy you find her.
Sarah
Turn about is fair play – could you now ask the moms?
My answer would be: there is nothing sexier than when my husband comes home after a run. He is sweaty, yes, sometimes filthy (if it’s been raining and muddy) and there is the obvious physical attraction, but more than that, I am turned on by his commitment to taking care of himself. He’s always been the more balanced of us – putting himself first, in the very best way – and he reminds me to take care of myself when he takes care of himself.
I don’t think our concept of sexy changes much once we get married. At least it hasn’t for me. What I considered sexy in college hasn’t changed at all. I don’t know what you mean by real man because, like you say, the answers are as unique as the people giving them. A gay man is a man — so is an asexual guy who doesn’t find anything at all sexy. By virtue of being present I am real. Now, I can see where there’s room for deviance; the difference between extremes might be enough to question who’s a man and who isn’t, but in the end we’re all real men no matter how different. The question makes a lot of sense for SEO purposes, but I think it would be more accurate without the “real” part.
The nape of the neck.
Despite the “breast vs. thighs” stereotype of male attraction, I think this is actually one of the primary visual turn-ons for human beings in general, if the ongoing popularity of vampire fiction is any indicator.
Chris, I’, definitely with you on the “nape of the neck” thing.
But I think Sarah summed it up well – great post!
My personal take on the theme is this:
A woman is sexy when she feels good, is true to herself and expresses that with people around her.
It’s a no brainer. But then comes the other part – making the women who are special to you feel good, so they feel sexy and externalise it.
I enjoyed reading the varied answers, and agree with most of the responses.
For me, a positive & confident attitude, smile, and willingness to be unselfish are what I find sexy. Oh, I almost forgot one… being spontaneous does it every time!
Nothing like unprovoked love (not lust):-)
PS: Kieth…TMI (???)
If we are talking about women that I am genuinely attracted to, as opposed to a sort of short-term biological reaction, I’ve always found that kindness, or the appearance of kindness at least, is tremendously important. That’s not actually out of choice — there are some very alluring but unkind looking women out there! But I have always found myself unable to really gather the emotional momentum to act on what my glands are recommending in these instances. Instead, it is the women who appear to be caring and considerate (as well as physically attractive) that I have actually wanted to pursue anything with. I suppose it is some deep down desire to be able to trust someone with my emotions.
hey, thanks a lot for the educational write-up. Would it be ok if I make use of your article in an upcoming article? it would be no problem to give you credit and hyperlink to this blog page. Please let me know if i have your authorization to do so. Thanks.
hello thanks for the infomation.
Thanks for this post. I loved the responses and I agree, it’s not the over the top stuff but the fact that she feels sexy and is willing to show me that she is.
I want the man like Corey or DadaRocks someone who values the intellectual, the conversational connection combined with a ‘come on’ that’s less overtly sexual but rather gentle and sensuous! Looks are nice too… but, start talking with crude wordsto me and grabbing at my body and I’m not so turned on.