The Seriously Spicy Information
The Story Behind the Story: Part II
Day 2: As described yesterday, I have this amazing resource who is going to share all: a woman who has proven that she doesn’t need sex advice despite my incredulity. (See yesterday’s post.) Here’s what happened during the interview process.
Sarah: Do you want to be anonymous or not?
Woman: I have nothing to hide. Give me credit.
Sarah: Okay, great! Here are the questions.
A couple of days ensue. The email hits my inbox. I hit “open” immediately, read the amazing content, and then she concludes with the following:
Woman: Ok let’s do total anonymously! I don’t want my computer savvy daughter finding it! LOL
So, if she has changed her mind, the information must be pretty good, right?
Read on…
What were some of the most interesting bedroom secrets you learned from these lingerie parties your mother hosted that you carry with you.
Flexibility will help you with your hips. A bjob is all about the tongue and what you do with it.
What would you advise to women who are not as comfortable with their sexuality or who grew up in homes that were a little less talkative about the subject?
Go to a show. Have a girl’s night. Whatever it takes to be around women! You don’t even have to drink! Trust me: women have the same insecurities. We all want to be considered sexy and hot. When one woman starts talking, others start to chime in without even realizing it! They get comfortable and chatty! Add a little wine for the women that drink and watch out!
Another thing is to go take Boudoir pictures! They are made to make a woman feel sexy and attractive. no matter who you are! It is one of the biggest confidence boosters a woman could ever partake in! Another activity that would help you feel more comfortable is to take a pole dancing class or a stripping class. They actually have those for real women. Bring a friend and just laugh and have fun.
What would you suggest to the husbands of women who are not comfortable with their sexuality?
Remind them everyday of why you think they are sexy. But don’t just tell them, show them. Gestures like walking behind them in the kitchen and placing your hands on your hips. One of the biggest things that makes me feel sexy is when I look over out of the blue and see my husband undressing me with his eyes. No matter how long a couple has been married, a woman likes to feel pursued. Pursue her. Tease her. Laugh with her. If you drink, bring her a glass of wine! Invest in candles, massage oils, and other fun little toys. No I’m not talking vibrators at this point! If she trusts you, you can slowly get her comfortable.
Have any explicit tips or tricks for the rest of us?
It’s all in the hips. Invest in an exercise ball and get to opening those babies up. It’s not easy to explain how to move your hips just right but not too hard (unless he is really into it). If he is digging that action, you will know it.
INVEST in lingerie, sexy underwear, bras. The return is HUGE! I have 2 drawers just of lingerie: everything from simple to elegant to risque. Then wear it! What good does it do when you keep it in your drawer. Put it on. Feeling frisky? Flash it. INNOCENTLY of course. Wear it when doing housework (if the kids are gone for the day).
Get a few good toys. Let him watch you use them while he is not allowed to touch.
Take control at times. Give him the control at others. Restrain his hands as you explore his body with your mouth and hands. Go slowly and find the spots that make him tense up. Don’t be afraid to nibble at times and flick your tongue at other times. The goal is to find out what sets him off.
Invest in mirrors or do it in the bathroom. I have mirrors on my closet door. Another favorite place to do it is on the bathroom counter.
Talk dirty. While you are watching movies, lean over, place one hand on his thigh and nibble on his ear as you whisper something dirty. Watch that smile cross his face and you know you hit the spot. Don’t know what to say? Just say “Let’s get naughty” or if you are feeling really frisky, “Want my mouth where my hand is?”
If you are using condoms, put them on him. Make it fun.
Okay, Sarah here. That is some pretty explicit and good advice. Now, I can say that my friend has clearly earned her “no sex advice” title.
Thank you for sharing. This kind of information could make a lot of couples a lot happier. 
Anything else you want to add (that we can publish – we moderate comments, FYI)? I dare you!
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Sure – some of us are too shy to mention naughty things in person. A good online chat might open you both up in ways you were hoping for, but not expecting. Fueled with a little wine, on a night when one of you is out of town on business, this could be a very fun way to explore things you may or may not have brought up in person prior. Try it out… tell him a deep fantasy you’d be far too embarrassed to tell him in person, over chat when you don’t have to see his face. You will, unless he’s extremely conservative, be pleasantly surprised. Then – ask him one of his. Understanding (perhaps stressing), all the while, that fantasy is just fantasy and neither of you would ever want these things in real life. If your communication is good in other areas of your life, when you’re reunited, you may just find yourselves acting out one another’s deepest fantasies… what a great way to keep each other invested, and interested!
I really appreciated these two posts. I think most married sex lives suffer from couples not understanding how great sex can be, and not committing themselves to having that. Once you get it, once you experience it, it’s going to take a lot more than a lot of kids and a crazy schedule to keep you from having it.
May more couples have what this couple have!
Some great advice for sexy time!
Can she and my wife hang out? Seriously.
BTW, nearly all the husbands I know think their wives are way sexier than the wives think they are. I tell my wife that she should ignore the voice in her head that says she isn’t anything other than gorgeous.
I love her sooo much. Our 16 years together hasn’t changed that except to make me love her more.
Paul,
Very funny. But yes, I think the right kind of girlfriends for your wife can have a very positive effect on your marriage and its intimate life. And yes, that’s what this site is for, to bring this kind of information and these kinds of friends to all of us…
Sarah
Excellent two posts. And how true. I take a somehow similar approach. I like to play the shy girl, the passive partner (maybe I am actually prudish). Yet, I perform all the body language tricks (mentioned above) in a natural manner. And although I flush so often at his advances (some made in public), I show little resistance (just to give him the thrill of it) whenever he comes with a new way to spice up our love life. He asks to shoot nude photos with me? Voila! He asks me for a home erotic movie? Here I am. We don’t have many mirrors in the house, that’s why we use the camera instead.
We’re now 24 years older and still doing about everything together. He finds that I look like I did on our wedding day. Well, I know this isn’t possible, just that this is the way he still looks at me. The photos, he says, are objective. But even if I can see the aging effect (it’s obvious), it makes me feel fantastic and young again.
Love is communication and selfless giving. Sex is all about staying young.
Doris,
That is a great comment… Thanks for adding to this post!
Sarah