And That, I Think, Says it All
I have read a lot of marriage books this last year, and I mean a lot. I have a pile of them next to my bed that is about 2 feet high. And for some reason, Project: Happily Ever After, drew me in.
It wasn’t because Alisa tells a great story (which she does). It wasn’t because of her frankness, honesty, and brutal look at herself and her marriage. It wasn’t because of the good sense she makes and the way she studies her marriage and pieces it back together.
It was because it represented hope.
I read this book over 2 months ago and I still think about it, and I have been trying to figure out why it stuck with me so long, drew me in.
And then it hit me.
It’s because I, like most women, am a woman of hope. Because I, like most women, grew up on fairy tales and wanted prince charming to sweep us away into the happily ever after world of a loving and caring and tender and romantic and supportive and fun marriage.
And then we got married. And for most of us, it wasn’t happily ever after at all. It was, frankly, a rude awakening. And for most of us (and I’m thinking about the 50% who get divorced + all those who stay together but aren’t happy), the dream of happily ever after vanishes into complacency, disappointment, acceptance of mediocrity, and as Alisa writes, divorce daydreams.
And then I read her book. And, as I told her, I think it’s a winner. Why? Because it gives Happily Ever After a second chance. On your own terms. By your own hands. Minus the fairy tales. Into something that is uniquely your own. Into a picture that you create.
I think this book speaks to the little girl in all women who never wants to give up on finding their happily ever after.
If you have a mother or sister or friend or cousin who is unhappy in their marriage, give them this gift. It is practical, sensible, and hopeful, whether or not they find their Happily Ever After. If nothing else, they will learn a lot about themselves… and thereby, improve their marriage.
If you missed our interview with Alisa yesterday, you can find it here.
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Great book by Alisa!
Thanks for pointing me towards an interesting marriage book. I agree that the fantasy is much greater than the reality … and that’s okay. Marriage is hard work!
i agree, the happily ever after feeling is fleeting. the rest doesn’t come easy, especially after kids. but it can happen. and i’m hoping for it.