“It’s Communication, Stupid!”

24. May, 2010 Categories: Relationship Advice by Sarah Baron 3 Comments

Reader Monday – Bloody Brilliant! (read with British accent please)

That’s what you are! Amazing! Talented! Insightful! Funny too. Every time I boot up the computer, there are presents waiting, and those are your answers to the question we posted last week.

The question asked (paraphrased)?

How do you get through tough times in your relationship?

At this writing, there are 231 of them here…

So, I’ve been mulling this post over for a while, and then something profound hit me today. There were almost no respondents who said that they didn’t have rough spells. So, the good news is that we are all occasionally (or more) miserable in our relationships. The better news is that everyone has their ways of working through their tough times. (Note to reader – some responses were that their relationship had not survived tough times, and these tended to be hopeful and accepting.)

Now, you can read all sorts of relationship books, but there’s something nice about reading real peoples’ answers to the question. Here are the winning answers…

“It’s communication, stupid!” (This is a line borrowed from the Bill Clinton campaign that was hung in campaign central and read “It’s the economy, stupid!” Also, that’s the way I felt after reading the first 179 answers. Plus, if you need to get this message across to your other, I thought forwarding this post would be helpful with a title like this. Don’t you?) Communication in its various forms was by far the most prolific answer.

Time alone and away from the kids. On a date. At the movies. On a walk. Out of town. With no computers or TVs. Any of these combinations. Guess what? When you do this, you tend to have fun and – COMMUNICATE.

Time away from each other to cool off. Not a long time, but a little time. This way, when you COMMUNICATE, you can do so effectively and calmly.

Sexy lingerie and other suggestive ideas – for other more sultry ways to flirt and communicate.

Memories. Watching old videos or remembering why you fell in love in the first place, and returning you to the time when you communicated just fine.

Writing things down. Love notes, what bothers you notes, emails that try to explain your position. Lots of you use the written word to, once again, communicate.

So, can you see why the “c” word wins and wins again? It seems like it works for most people who responded. And one other thing that you can see in these answers – both parties have to want to work at it – because it takes 2 to effectively, you guessed it, communicate.

If you want the full scope of your collective wisdom, click here. You, like I, will be amazed! You will begin to see the power that helping each other can bring. We’ll bring you an assortment of actual answers next Monday as they are still coming in…