Hey Guys – This Stuff is What Every Woman Wants
Gentlemen, this is the follow-up to last week’s post on how to treat your husband like a boyfriend. I warned you that you were not off the hook. Anyways, I spoke with the ladies and we brainstormed some ideas for you.
(Disclaimer: If you follow through with these ideas, you may encounter suspicion, especially if you are rusty in the romance department. If her eyes contract to slits or her arms fold across her chest – wondering what’s up or what you want from her, just explain that you read this article online and it reminded you to do something nice like this for her because you love her and she deserves it. You can tell her about Anonymous8 and how these women have advice about relationship stuff. Encourage her to stop by. If she does, then maybe things will really heat up for you. So, it could be a win, win, win. Only good things could come from this.)
Okay, here’s the list already.
1. Send her flowers. When’s the last time you did that? If you can’t remember, stop reading and do it now. We’re waiting (picture my foot tapping on the floor)…. Click here for an easy link to Proflowers or call a local florist. I don’t care where you buy them. Just do it.
2. Sexy texting. This is exactly what we recommended to women. It’s quick, easy, flirty, and fun. Read here for our post on this.
3. Tell her how much you love her. Sometimes we just need to hear that. Or that you think she is beautiful. Or that you think she is wonderful. Or that you think she’s sexy. Or has a great body. Compliments, will, in many cases, get you everywhere!
4. Give her a card listing 10 things you love about her. (I can picture her heart melting when she reads this, which is exactly what you want to happen. Because it will be melting for YOU!)
5. Buy her something small that she loves – and not just on her birthday or on your anniversary. A single rose will do it. A small box of Godiva, with a note telling her you want to share them after the kids are in bed. It’s not the size of the gift, but the thought and the time you put into it.
6. How about some lingerie? It may seem daring, but buying her some makes her feel like a woman (especially when she knows her man has invested his time picking out something for her to wear and then take off). We will have many more posts on this particular topic, with specific suggestions.
7. Take her out to some place that she wants to go to – dinner, dancing (no moaning, please), a party, or some other venue. Go with enthusiasm and a smile. While there, you may want to pull out that small gift you got her.
8. Take her away for a night, a weekend or a week – alone. Surprise her. Give her an experience that gets her away from her day to day. Tell her you want to be with her. We’ll have posts later on with specifics in great ideas, both expensive and not, for this one.
Guys – add other suggestions on what has worked for you below.
Ladies - add ideas of what your husband has done to surprise you. We can all use all the suggestions we can get. If you would like me to email this link to your husband with a note (like hint hint), we’d be happy to do so. Just submit your request here with specifics of what you want us to say.
Recent posts you may like:
Fun Tip Tuesdays: Twister has another APP
The Best Advice About Marriage and Intimacy Ever
Fun Tip Tuesdays: It’s all in the Roll of the Dice
These items are all great – also to the men:
If you not only take her for dinner but also make RESERVATIONS, the foresight and planning involved with make it that much more special.
Thinking back to the days when he really was my boyfriend… he once surprised me (this was in grad school by the way) with a candlelit evening and chocolate covered strawberries. He went out and purchased 12 glass votive holders – scattered them around his apartment and then produced a plate of dark chocolate covered strawberries. Wow. Setting the bar high early on. We had many dinners by candle light while we were dating – and we still light’em up on occasion.
Yes, I like this one too. You are right. It’s about the thought as well.
My wife and I have an 11 month old son so things like taking her away or even just taking her out for a romantic evening still seems kind of out of reach for us. However, one of the biggest ways that I can do something nice for her is just being a dad for a while. On occasion, I’ll bring home a gift certificate for a local movie theatre. (Going to the movies is one of my wife’s favorite things to do.) Then on a Saturday, my son and I can spend the afternoon together and my wife can have a little alone time at the movies.
Now that is a lovely idea. What a great way to work with what you have available to you. She must really really love those afternoons at the movies, and even more so because of the effort you put into it.
Here, here. I wouldn’t change where I am today in our relationship, but I do fondly remember that new and exciting beginning to our life together. I think that is a fantastic list to start with – and really guys … just trying will mean so much. Seriously.
Relating to No. 4: A few years ago I made my partner (now fiancee) a book listing ’101 Things I Love About Him’ complete with pictures of us both and presented nicely in a shiny box. When I gave it to him, *I* cried, he just half-smiled and said “Oh, that’s great, thanks hun.”
I may as well have just given him the morning newspaper… (actually, that probably would have gained a more excited response).
That dusty book-in-a-box now sits in the bookshelf as a handy reference for me, when I start to forget why *exactly* I love him again. In that sense, it’s actually been very useful.
I guess my point is, you can tell this post was written by women, for women, and it would be great if men were motivated enough to search out posts like this to show their women they care, but in my experience it doesn’t work like that at all.
We have four children. We started young-Me, 17 and Him, 20.
My husband is a Navy career man, so we had never lived close to family when raising our kids (relocating every two years), which made it difficult to have much alone time. We are now getting to know each other again and doing many of the things you described. Some romantic things as simple as picnics on the living room floor or like the trip he planned this May after years ago returning from a 6 month deployment where he got to see Paris and promised one day to go back with me. Love your posts and can’t wait to read the next!
That’s a great idea. I am in touch with a number of men who blog about working at marriage. I think I’ll ask them why men don’t search out this stuff as much as women do… I’ve been encouraging them to leave comments, as we need all the perspectives we can get.
I am here because my husband bought me flowers today for no reason, which means he’s guilty or in trouble or both!
Tonight I sent him a sexy text (which would have never occurred to me until I read your blog. I’m excited to browse around and see what else you’re writing about.
When I gave him the look he told me about this blog, o sure right (lol) but here you are, THANK YOU! However you attracted his attention to read the post and wrote it in a way to encourage him THANK YOU
Wow! That’s an amazing story, Maria. First, I’m happy he bought you flowers. Second, you gave him the look, which is really funny. Third, he actually told you about the article. Fourth, you read it. Fifth, you sent him a sexy text. My goodness. This makes my day! Thanks for letting me know.
Finally, if you ever start a blog like this, it’s hard because you slog through things and don’t know if you should just throw up your hands and give up, especially when you feel like what you are doing is going into the big cyberspace void. This kind of feedback gives me more energy to move on, so thank you.
It would be great if the men would actually read these ideas with their wife sitting next to them. Unfortunately, men & women just don’t think alike.
So I’m all into creative mode (thanks to you whoever you are
Today I created a jar filled with short little suggestions of things I like, the idea being that he can dip into the jar when he needs inspiration. He gets “points”, I get happy, he gets rewarded with a happy wife. I’m going to ask him to do the same jar thing and hopefully it keep the ball rolling in the “I appreciate you” department. I think with a 2 year old at home we’re starting to take each other for granted, and I honestly never noticed it until I read some your blog posts.
And the sexy text, I was totally nervous and embarrassed, I’m 35 not 22; but it was definitely appreciated
Maria,
That’s an amazing idea. Will you let me know how the jar thing goes? What works and what doesn’t? Just curious and it could help a lot of people out. As far as the sexy texting, I find that I am coming out of my skin a little more now that I am in my early 40s. Something happens at this point in me and my friends’ lives at this age. Will talk more about it later, but it is wonderful… Can’t wait to hear.
Thanks,
Sarah
I like a lot of these ideas here – and I find that the simple act of listening, real listening, making sure that my wife is heard, goes a long long way. We both practice Imago Dialogue, which allows us a structure to engage in active listening – this really can be an aphrodisiac sometimes, and at the very least, it creates deep safety.
Michael Sherman – http://www.CourageousLovingNation.com
Thanks so much for stopping by and for your thoughts. I’m going to take a look at Imago Dialogue.
Man, if I even had a boyfriend.
*sigh* Reminds me of one of my favorite quotes:
“Any man can love a million women, but it takes a real man to love one woman a million different ways”
<3