Foreplay 101
Why don’t women blink during foreplay? Because they don’t want to miss it…
Guys, here is some of the best advice you are going to get from us. Ever. Really.
First, we start with the following assumption:
The good things in life are not easy or simple.
That goes for sex too. Yes, really. If you read studies and ask people, they are more satisfied with long and lasting and deep felt intimacy than just the act itself. It’s like the difference between driving a Datsun and an Aston Martin. The experiences just don’t compare.
Okay, ready for the big revelation?
Foreplay does NOT begin right before sex. Tadaaaah. Do I need to repeat that? Foreplay does NOT begin right before sex. Has that concept melted into your head and your heart and your area below the belt yet?
Here’s why. If you think that touching your wife in all the right places 30 seconds before intercourse is going to help your case, you are in trouble. And you are going to have less success… unless you make foreplay an art.
Foreplay begins when you wake up in the morning. This is not as confusing as it sounds. It is how you treat her all day long. It is in the touch on the way out the door, in the phone call checking in, in the suggestive and flirty text you send at 3pm. It is in the cup of coffee you make for her when you know she was up half the night with junior. It is in all the little things you do that are NOT sexual in nature. (It’s amazing that for many women, it is the non-sexual acts of effort that make us most interested in intimacy.) It is in the words you speak and the efforts you make for her all day long. That, my friends, is the foreplay to the FOREplay.
It is the loooooong dance of seduction.
It is setting the stage so she is willing and happy to be with you.
It is making deposits in the marriage bank account, so many that there is a highly positive balance. Why? Because when she feels loved, cherished, safe, and taken care of, she will want to be with you intimately. And when you then initiate intimacy, you are more likely to find a willing woman.
Because the best rewards come from things that are not so easy…
Ladies, chime in if you have anything to add.
Sincerely yours,
The Women of Anonymous8
Other Posts You May Enjoy
The 14 Sexiest Things a Guy Can Say to His Wife
How to Treat Your Wife Like a Girlfriend
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Word. Helping out around the house is always a good idea, also known as choreplay.
Nothing to add except AMEN!
It’s the attention too. I think we want more than 10 minutes of their attention. We want to feel like the special, treasured women we are. A little effort works because we feel like we have that attention.
After reading this and thinking back and I can see that you are right. I am going to work more on this and let the fun follow!
I just got through asking my Facebook friends about how they get in the mood when they have been married a while and are tired from the daily routine, children, etc. Low and behold, I saw your article on Twitter. Naturally, I shared it on Facebook!
Thank you for these words of wisdom. For us women, the little things mean a great big lot. I hope the men read this and take some small steps (and keep on doing what works) that will increase the desire of the women they love. Absolutely wonderful! Michelle
Isn’t God interesting in created man and woman different in this way. Making each of us respond to sex in a different way keeps both parties on their toes. It’s so circular. It’s like we get our needs met by meeting the needs of each other. Husbands feel closer to their wives when the sexual relationship is thriving, yet they can’t get quality unless they are meeting the emotional needs for intimacy for their wives. Wives feel closer to their hubbys when they are getting their emotional needs met properly, and in turn want to have sex. It’s like things are kept just out of reach to keep things interesting.
David, what you say is generally true, but for some couples, such as my husband and me it is reversed…really!!!
Wow…this is so very well put. I’m in total agreement.
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Really! sex is more than just the act!
Ahhhhh!!!! Great post!!!! I don’t know why this is such a difficult concept for guys!!!!