7 Days to Sexier Bedroom Dynamics

05. May, 2011 Categories: Intimacy in Marriage by Sarah Baron 1 Comment

Try the 7 Day Challenge

My friends Tony and Alisa DiLorenzo over at OneExtraordinaryMarriage began a sexy tradition last year that went so well they made it an annual event. I think it’s great and recommend that you consider it. It is a challenge where you and your other commit to being intimate for 7 days in a row. Seems reasonable, right? Even seems like some of you may smirk a little just thinking about it.

Today, Tony answers some of my questions. Tomorrow, I’ll share with you several reasons and strategies that will hopefully help you close the deal.

Why did you start the 7 Day Challenge?

After completing our initial challenge, 60 Days of Sex Challenge, we wanted to do something each year to remind us of the commitment we made to each other when doing the 60 Days of Sex Challenge. For us 60 days was a bit much, but we felt that if we did a 7 day challenge that would recharge us and allow us to connect sexually. This is our 3rd 7 Days of Sex Challenge, but the 2nd Annual for ONE Extraordinary Marriage community.

What have people found to be the benefits?

One of the biggest things that we heard after last years challenge is those that communicated, engaged in emotional & intellectual intimacy were the ones who benefited the most. It wasn’t only about the sex, but learning about each other again so that they were able to connect and pleasure each other.

What were the surprises for you and Alisa? For some of your readers?

A big surprise was how open we became when it came to sex in or out of our bedroom. Over the years we talked less about sex and what we desired to during and after the challenge talking a lot about it and sharing our desires with one another. This was unexpected, but has helped us make sexual intimacy exciting.

For our readers and those who did the challenge last year the biggest thing we heard was the openness that occurred during the challenge. Fears of Changing It Up, different positions, or Taking the Lead, wives making the advance on their husband, were two areas we heard a lot about.

Any negatives?

Leading a busy life, with family, church, businesses, and other activities it can begin to drain you both physically and mentally as the days roll on. But, here is where the connection with your spouse is strengthened. It is during these tough times that instead of throwing in the towel and giving up, Alisa and I would talk so that we could fulfill our obligation to each other.

Most negatives during the challenge can be overcome if both spouses are willing to open up. Obviously, illness, travel, or the time of the month can’t be avoided at times.

What happens if your immediate gut reaction to this is negative?

Don’t do it! If you are not at the right place right now to do a challenge it’s better to start opening up the lines of communication with your spouse and do one in the future when the two of you are in position that will benefit your marriage the most. (Sarah here. I’m not sure I agree with Tony here. I think you should mull over the concept and see what happens during the thinking process, see if you soften to the idea. If you still don’t like it, don’t do it. If you see some possibilities, consider it.)

Have any of you tried this? What do you think when you read about this? We welcome and invite your thoughts.